Friday, August 11, 2006

A few more things to do when I am MS Overlord

11. I will encourage my lieutenants to initiate new projects, but I will shut down those that do not meet reasonable expectations after a decent amount of time. I will not punish those who innovate and fail, but I will not let them pretend that success will come Real Soon Now if they can just keep pouring my money down their rathole.

12. After one of my underlords reports on the status of a project, I will locate the minions doing the actual work, take them out for drinks, and determine what the real story is. If that story differs significantly from the report, the underlord will be reporting to the unemployment office.

13. I will evaluate proposals based on how likely they are to succeed, not on how great things would be if they did possibly succeed.

14. If a team puts more effort into planning than executing a project, I will execute the planners.

15. If my henchmen call a fire drill to just keep the minions on their toes, I'll fire the fire drillers.

16. I promise that people who promulgate pointlessly painful processes will be provided with a plentitude of pain.

17. Henchmen who spend more time managing their careers than managing their organization will find themselves managing the Bagdhad office.

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